An OdE to the Sessionals....

Disclaimer: This Article is not a work of fiction...Any resemblance to any place or person,living or dead, would be dead,could be dead...(if you don't click on the like button) is purely "not" co-incidental..I hope you people feel the same elation on this momentous day of our life...The last Sessional...yess guys...Done and dusted...hi5...

I still fondly remember the first year of my B.Tech…After an initial settling in period came the dreaded Exams (yess..at that time the Sessionals deserved that status..)

6 papers in 6 days…that’s so not fair…”saans lene ka bhi time nhi milega” quoted one of my dear friends…”Arey there would be mass bunk the week before the exams(again yess..examss..:P)…Time enough for preparation”  came the answer..

Well in the years gone by…the period stretching over three and a half years and as counted by my statistician Nanda, 87 papers (omg…realllyyy…87…n that’s just the count of sessionals…LOL) , people have realised the true worth( or the lack of it) of the sessionals..

“Arey this name in itself is misleading…Sessionals nhi..Minors is the name apt for these little ones..itni hi Aukaat h inki… ” quoted my friend before today’s paper…

“Mam ye question out of syllabus h..”

Our response to such a query in the examination hall in the initial years was somewhat anxious...Not knowing an answer,or the question in itself, deserves that reaction...But now it's more of a relief...cos there is something in the paper "jo aur kisi ko bhi nahi aata.."  what's even better is the thought of getting some grace marks..(Bhaiya Ravi Shastri ne kaha h.."No matter how they come...As long as they are runs."  well, marks in our case)

But one thing that these Sessionals have taught us in life....and that might one day just turn out to be the biggest learning of our life...that is the introduction to "JUGAAD Technology"...For those who think there's no such subject...check out the Oxford Dictionary...Jugaad is the second thing India has invented after Aryabhatta's zero..(and 1.2 billion people ofcourse)

In the Sessionals, it doesn't matter what the question asked is...The answer is anything one can remotely remember and fit into the frame...and who isn't familiar with the Jigsaw puzzle..plus one can always sneak a peek into the neighbour's sheet...Even the Examiners know "sab fatte hi toh chala rahe h...Ki farak penda hain..."


But there are things that haven't changed as well...The girl sitting 5 inches from you during the paper is still hot if not hotter...Your mate on the right or the left don't know the answer to the same question that you yourself are clueless about...The feeling of punching that asshole discussing the paper once it is over..The one bigger asshole who always completes the paper in half the time and leaves making you feel small...(apologies to my dear friend Mayank but yess it's not funny...) and the biggest of Assholes who would ask for an extra sheet...wdf...that's against the rules...nobody can crap so much in an hour and a half...


Anywayssss...the journey has been good...great infact...and one can go on and on and on about these days...I am sure one of these days or nights would stick in our grey cells forever...the late night 10 paisa conference calls...the mugs of coffee...the early morning splashes...but most of all....the memorable quotes... "abey fatti padi h bhai...","kamina sab padh k aaya h", "saale paper me gaane likh rha tha.." And as much as it pains me to say this but with a twinkle in the corner of my eye...(ha ha ha)

Dear Sessionals... you will be missed...

INTER_ViEW

So the season is nearing its end now...arey woi apna MBA season..must say it's been a hell of a ride...from tadka daal to chikni chameli to Justin Beiber...bloody Interviewers want to know it all..(Tharki Buddhe).."Beta college kitna dur h ghar se?" asked one.."Sir Aadha Ghanta" came the casual reply.."Acha what is the unit of Current?"..."Ampere"..."and Distance?"..."Sir Kilometer"..."Abhi toh aapne kaha Ghanta...sorry aadha ghanta"...said the Asshole with a cunning grin on his face...okay one up to you I told myself...


"Acha beta watching Cricket is your hobby??"..."Yes Sir.I am a passionate Cricket follower"..."ha ha..national hobby h..ok tell me the difference between a Doosra and Googly?...in one line only." he said throwing me a googly (or doosra watever).."Sir A doosra is A Off Spinner's leg spin delivery and A googly is a Leg Spinner's off spin" (up yours smartass...) I mentally updated the score to one each..."Ha Ha Ha...beta ye baat apni Girlfriend to samjhaani ho toh ??" came the teesra.."Sir kyu breakup karwa rhe ho..?"I replied with a cheeky one..Yess they took it well..The monsters had a sense of humor..2-1..I was in the lead...not for long though..But they say these Interview battles are better lost...(n we all know Haar k jeetne wale ko....) Anyways I lost the score count after a while...


"How was it...What are they asking...Acads puch rhe h...???" asked a pretty girl from Chandigarh(and yess...she was hot too) who had given me company earlier during the day...The hurt male ego did not allow the truth to come out...So decided to answer her diplomatically..."It was okkay " I said with a sigh..."They just want to know you..." But her expectant eyes wanted more from my lips(pun intended) as she took a chair beside me..."Yaar dhang se bata naa..Jyada le rhe hain...??" she asked...Excuse me..."Yaar"..."le rhe hain"...Aint u getting a little too casual already...I said to myself..But apna Dil bhi toh bachha hain jee...So gave her some real advice "YAAR..They will try to stress u a little...Stay calm...I could not...and don't mention hobbies that u don't actually have.."...She seemed content..


I wished her all the Best and wandered across to the College Canteen...which turned out to be a delight...The Banana Shake with some real desi bashing of the Interviewers and their pathetic understanding of the world's most talented(now disgruntled) souls helped relax my mind...I realised that no matter the fancy suits...on the inside the true Indian was still alive and kicking...I can't recall all the names but the feelings at that time were quite mutual..."Abey Inko aata kya hain..Saale CAT me 50 percent nhi laa sakte teeno mil ke bhi.." said one with a red tie..."Arey bhaiya Jharkhand se yha aane tak kitne station aaye...kya fark padta hain...saala humko ticket collector samjhe hain.." quipped another one with a shiny shirt..."arey bhai wo bandi mast thi yaar.. tere saath jo bethi thi...what's her name..Local h??" a guy asked me...I realised the testosterone rich environment had indeed thrown me some attention since the morning...mostly cos of the Chandigarh chick.. "Chandigarh" I replied..."Lag hi rha tha..Dilli ka toh paani hi kharaab hogya hain.." pat came the reply...


The day came to an end with some more banter and curses...Still provided me the stuff for this post...So start pressing the like button people...(Marketing nahi aati bhai mje abhi islie seedha hi kehna padta hain..)

It's not a changing world after all...

woohooo...1000 hits on the blog..really took so long..(even longer than Sachin's 100th ton).But what difference does the number make?? The truth of the matter is the last post on my blog was quite some time ago.."Did your girlfriend dump you??" I remember one of my friends asking me the question when I first took up blogging..(toote hue dil se hi sachi awaaz nikalti hain..aka Ranbir Kapoor's Rockstar)


Anyways not much seems to have changed around the world.SRK is still fighting at parties.."Salman ho ya Sirish ki fark penda hain" I quoted jokingly to my friend.."Hume toh nhi padta..but had it really been Salman this time,then SRK ko toh padtaaaa..." came the reply...Well talking about fighting,there seems to be some kind of feud brewing up in the Indian Team touring down under.. Apparently, nothing much has changed with them too..Then it was England,now it's Australia..Deja vu..(Yahan bhi chamatkaar pe chamatkaar horha h)...Even with the reality shows...Yet another Indian Television's "Adarsh Bahu" bagged the Big Boss title..Though she was given a close run by another global "Adarsh" by the name of Sunny Leone..But unfortunately her true antics could not be aired on National Television..


People were dying to get into an MBA College..and we still are..The only difference being the Pre-CAT era and the Post-CAT era..No one knew the answer to the question "Why MBA?" then and no one still does..But we, the Engineers(the supposedly "technically sound ones" would eventually figure something out) Some of the popular answers doing the rounds are "Entrepreneur banna h..Corporate world ko lead krna h..Society me respect chahie"..Ultimately even the Interviewers know that we all are in here for precisely the same reason..GREED..for money, for appreciation,for recognition...and as the lines of a certain Gordon Gekko state.."GREED IS GOOD" and "MONEY IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND"...(thodi jyada philosophy ho gyi..hush..)Saying these things won't take you through any B-school interview..Better stick to the tried and tested Lies..


Well, some would say it's a dynamic, ever changing world..I tend to disagree...It depends on how you view it...Just remember, A Bend in the road is not the end of the road..(unless you stop walking)...Let's not worry about the results for a bit..Why not enjoy the journey...Have some real fun..Who knows when this all might end..(According to India TV,it will be in December this year..) So let's get a move on people...2000 hits is the new target...